Scrubs

Turk Quotes (Page 11)

J.D.: What guy drunkenly kissed you when you were sleeping?
J.D.'s narration: And it was at that moment that Turk and I remembered the incident we managed to block out for twelve years!
Turk: Uh, you're okay with us not hanging around for a couple of weeks?
J.D.: Totally!
 • Rating: Unrated

Devin: "Make sure you clean out the gutters at the lake house so the front porch doesn't flood"?
Turk: Ours was better than that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: Dude, you all right? You were gone for a really long time.
J.D.: You're gonna be an awful father!
 • Rating: Unrated

Todd: You know where there's all kinds of equipment for women? (Points to himself) Todd-land.
Turk: Damn it, Todd. What did I tell you about talking like that around my wife?
Todd: Wait until she leaves and then say it?
Turk: Exactly.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: Dr. Kelso, I'll go to that conference.
Dr. Kelso: Turkelton, I have many more pressing issues, starting with a gigantic paralyzed wife and ending with a gay son who has just written a scathing musical about me called Dr. Dad, which despite mixed reviews, has just been held over in Buffalo. So why don't you just do whatever...
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: How did you know I'd move too fast with Julie?
Elliot: Because I know you!
Dr. Cox: How do you know that I can be that kind of dad?
Carla: Because I know you!
Turk: How did you that Kelso just wanted respect?
Janitor: Because I know him!
Todd: (Watching in the security cameras) Wow! This is so cool!
 • Rating: Unrated

Janitor:We don't just rock together, we roll together.
Janitor, Lloyd, Ted, Turk: ::pounding chests:: Cool cats.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elliot: You know, I actually like Julie. So, don't do that thing you always do.
J.D.: If you're referring to the game "Find the Saltine", relax. I don't even play that with Turk anymore.
(Later)
Turk: Behind your ear.
J.D.: (Withdrawing Saltine from behind his ear) My friend, you have found the Saltine. Uh, but, don't tell Elliot we're still playing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: Dude, he keeps a hug schedule with his friends!
J.D.: Okay, Turk.. looks like someone's getting crossed off their 2 o' clock spot and getting penciled in for never! How does that feel? Does it sting?
J.D.'s Narration: He's hurting! Hug him.. hug him now!
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Sutton: I'm a garbage man! How many times a day do you think I get thanked!
Turk: 6!
Mr. Sutton: You're off by about 6.
Turk: 12
Mr. Sutton: Starting to see why Leon outfoxed you!
 • Rating: Unrated

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