Turtle Quotes
Turtle: Wow, I'm getting a little emotional.
Drama: Yeah, me too. We better find someone to f*ck in Paris.
Drama: Hey, remember these words, E: "From behind, you don't even look preggers."
Turtle: Oh, and tell Sloan, if it's a boy? Baby Sal. Great name.
Ari: Vince! Hold the plane.
Drama: Who's the broad?
Turtle: That's his wife, you jerk off.
Turtle: Wow, Drama, you swore on your career?
Drama: I had my balls crossed.
Turtle: Look, this is going to be a very exclusive affair, but it's important to Vince that you attend.
Drama: It's important to all of us.
Sloan: And why am I such an important guest?
Turtle: Because you're carrying our baby.
Sloan: Your baby?
Drama: Well that's the way we are, Sloan, you know that. Even if you lose E you're never going to lose us.
Vince: Now let's see you top that news.
Turtle, Billy and Drama: Sloan's pregnant.
Vince: I think I'm getting married.
Turtle: What?
Billy: Come on, Vince.
Vince: I'm serious, I'm actually in love with this woman.
Drama: What was the sex that good?
Vince: Yes, but that's not it.
Turtle: It's either that or you're back on drugs.
Vince: I'm clearer than I've ever been.
Drama: Well did you drug her?
Alex Rodriguez: I thought you were in that Avion Tequila deal?
Turtle: Yeah. I made a few bucks, but...
A-Rod: A few bucks? I heard it went public today.
Turtle: What?
A-Rod: Listen, call Tex and apologize. We're trying to win a ring around here.
Turtle: Come on, you've got an eight year, hundred and eighty million dollar contract.
Mark Teixeira: I've also got three kids in private school in Greenwich, Connecticut. You don't have three kids in private school in Greenwich, Connecticut, do you Turtle?
Turtle: No.
Teixeira: So you don't know how expensive it is then, do you?
Turtle: No.
Teixeira: Turtle, find another way. And don't try to guilt me again.
Johnny Drama: Bro, didn't I used to bang her sister?
Vince: Yeah, actually she said she asked about you.
Drama: Of course.
Turtle: She probably wants to find out if you were the one who gave her the herps.
Drama: Well at least I get laid often enough to be a suspect.
Eric: Interesting logic.
Vince: Turtle, how many relationships have I had?
Turtle: Huh?
Vince: Deep, real, meaningful relationships.
Turtle: Not counting us?
Vince: Women.
Turtle: I don't think any.
Vince: Hey, there's my motherf*cker. Get it?
Eric: Oh I get it, hilarious.
Johnny Drama: I don't get it.
Turtle: Mother f*cker. E f*cked the mother.
Drama: Oh you mean step mother f*cker. I get it! That's funny bro.
