Turtle
Quotes

Vince: Johnny Depp's got the kind of career I want.
Eric: Johnny Depp did Pirates of the Caribbean. And if I'm not mistaken, he wore a swashbuckling costume and carried a sword.
Turtle: Yeah, but I heard he dresses like that in real life, though
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Eric: I don't know what you guys are making such a big deal about. I've been to the mansion, it's not that great.
Turtle: You were at an afternoon fundraiser for Alzheimer's, E. I don't think that's what Mr. Hefner had in mind when he opened the joint.
Eric: Nah, I'm sure he was dreaming about your fat ass running around the place in pajamas
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Turtle: You sat at Hugh Hefner's table?
Drama: Yeah, during the Melrose years.
Eric: Don't you mean the Melrose months Drama?
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Drama: I had an Italian sports car in '94. They're a delight.
Turtle: You had a Fiat, Drama
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Eric: Forget that girl. The only reason she was with me was because I'm your manager.
Turtle: So? Do you know how much p***y I got in this town that I didn't deserve?
Drama: All of it?
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Turtle: You got a smoking hot assistant!
Adam: (motions to Drama) And it's all because of this guy.
Drama: Really?
Adam: No, I'm kidding.
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Turtle: You know, you act like a priest for three months, the least a girl can do is service you.
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Drama: It's a well known fact that a girl on her period is much hornier.
Turtle: And there's no need for a raincoat!
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Turtle: Can I please just buy you a blow job? It'd make both our lives a lot easier.
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Drama: Vince, you ever go 3 months without p***y?
Turtle: Vince ain't ever gone 3 days.
Vince: No wait, that's not true... Sophomore year.
Turtle: Really?
Eric: Yeah, he had mono.
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