Those are brave men knocking at our door. Let's go kill them!

I much like my head. I don't want to see it removed just yet.

Bronn: Do you know how to use that?
Tyrion: I chopped wood once. No, actually, I watched my brother chop wood.

Tyrion: I'm the captain. If this ship goes down, I go down with it.
Varys: I'm sure many captains said the same when the ship was afloat.

Tyrion: You can't fuck your way out of everything.
Shae: I have so far.

The Lord of Light wants his enemies burnt. The Drowned God wants his enemies drowned. Why are all the gods such vicious c-nts? Where is the god of t-ts and wine?

I will hurt you for this. A day will come when you think you are safe and happy, and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth. And you will know the debt is paid.

You love your children. It's your one redeeming quality; that and your cheekbones.

Tywin: I always thought you were a stunted fool. Perhaps I was wrong.
Tyrion: Half wrong. I'm new to strategy, but if we are going to be surrounded by three armies, it appears we cannot stay here.

There's your peace. Joffrey saw to that when he decided to remove Ned Stark's head. You'll have an easier time drinking from that cup that you will bringing Robb Stark to the table now. He's winning, in case you haven't noticed.

Bronn: Stay low.
Tyrion: Stay low?
Bronn: If you're lucky, no one will notice you.

As impossible as it seems, there was once a time I was unaccustomed to wine.

Game of Thrones Quotes

Tyrion: Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.
Jon: What the hell do you know about being a bastard?
Tyrion: All dwarfs are bastards in their father's eyes.

Nothing isn't better or worse than anything. Nothing is just nothing.

Arya