Tyrion Lannister Quotes
I will hurt you for this. A day will come when you think you are safe and happy, and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth. And you will know the debt is paid.
You love your children. It's your one redeeming quality; that and your cheekbones.
Tywin: I always thought you were a stunted fool. Perhaps I was wrong.
Tyrion: Half wrong. I'm new to strategy, but if we are going to be surrounded by three armies, it appears we cannot stay here.
There's your peace. Joffrey saw to that when he decided to remove Ned Stark's head. You'll have an easier time drinking from that cup that you will bringing Robb Stark to the table now. He's winning, in case you haven't noticed.
Bronn: Stay low.
Tyrion: Stay low?
Bronn: If you're lucky, no one will notice you.
As impossible as it seems, there was once a time I was unaccustomed to wine.
Shae: I don't want to play.
Tyrion: It's fun! Look at the fun we're having!
Tyrion: Let's play a new game.
Bronn: There's a ... knife game I can teach ya.
Tyrion: Does it involve the potential loss of fingers?
Bronn: Not if you win.
Tyrion: No. No fire games, no knife games. Let's do something I'm good at.
Shae: What are you good at?
Tyrion: I happen to be a great judge of character.
Bronn: This sounds like a boring game.
Tyrion: And here we have Bronn, son of...
Bronn: You wouldn't know him.
Shaggar: How would you like to die, Tyrion, son of Tywin?
Tyrion: In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girls mouth around my cock.
Robert Arryn: Can I make the little man fly now?
Tyrion: Not this little man. This little man is going home now.
Where do I begin, my lords and ladies? I am a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated, gambled and whored. I'm not particularly good at violence, but I'm good at convincing others to do violence for me. You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven, I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stile her robe and she was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. I closed my eyes, but I could still see her tits bouncing. When I was 10, I stuffed my uncle's boots with goat sh*t. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged, and I escaped justice. When I was 12 I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage. I made the bald men cry into the turtle stew, which I believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did. I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel....