Tyrion Lannister Quotes
Robert Arryn: Can I make the little man fly now?
Tyrion: Not this little man. This little man is going home now.
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Where do I begin, my lords and ladies? I am a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated, gambled and whored. I'm not particularly good at violence, but I'm good at convincing others to do violence for me. You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven, I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stile her robe and she was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. I closed my eyes, but I could still see her tits bouncing. When I was 10, I stuffed my uncle's boots with goat sh*t. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged, and I escaped justice. When I was 12 I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage. I made the bald men cry into the turtle stew, which I believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did. I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel....
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Have you ever heard the phrase "Rich as a Lannister?" Of course you have. You're a smart man. You know who the Lannister's are. I am a Lannister. Tyrion, son of Tywin. Of course, you have also heard the phrase, a Lannister always pays his debts. If you deliver a message from me to Lady Arryn, I will be in your debt. I will owe you gold. If you deliver the message, and I live, which I very much intend to do.
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Listen to me. Sometimes possession is an abstract concept. When they captured me, they took my purse, but the gold is still mine.
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Untie me. If I die, what's the point?
- Permalink: Untie me. If I die, what's the point?
Tyrion: Tell me, Lady Stark, when was the last time you saw your sister?
Catelyn: Five years ago.
Tyrion: She's changed. She was always a bit touched, but now, you might as well kill me here.
Catelyn: I am not a murderer Lannister.
Tyrion: Neither am I! I had nothing to do with the attempt on your son's life....What sort of an imbecile arms an assassin with his own blade?
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Anyway, don't despair, I'm a constant disappointment to my own father and I've learned to live with it. Here, your next tumble with Roz is on me. I'll try not to wear her out.
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Tyrion: Come to see me off Greyjoy? Kind of you. Your master doesn't seem to like Lannisters.
Theon: He's not my master.
Tyrion: No, of course not. What happened here, where is Lady Stark, why didn't she receive me:
Theon: She wasn't feeling well.
Tyrion: She's not in Winterfell, is she? Where did she go?
Theon: My lady's whereabouts...
Tyrion: My lady? Your loyalty to your loyalty to your captors is touching. Tell me, how do you think Balon Greyjoy would feel knowing his only surviving son had turned lackey.
- Permalink: Come to see me off Greyjoy? Kind of you. Your master doesn't see...
Tyrion: I must say I received a slighter warmer welcome on my last visit.
Robb: Any man of the Night's Watch is welcome at Winterfell.
Tyrion: Any man of the Night's Watch but not I, eh boy?
Robb: I'm not your boy, Lannister. I'm Lord of Winterfell while my father is away.
Tyrion: Then you might learn a Lord's courtesy.
- Permalink: I must say I received a slighter warmer welcome on my last visit...