Favorite Uncle Junior Quotes
A.J.: Hey grandma, how come you're not supposed to breathe in the cemetery?
Livia: Who says?
Junior: It's a joke for chrissakes! Say, "why?"
A.J.: Because you'll make the dead people jealous.
Livia Soprano: (to A.J.) Come over here, say a hail mary for your grandfather.
Uncle Junior: Lay off, he's a kid.
Livia Soprano: So he should neglect his elders, just like his father?
Uncle Junior: Yeah, real scamp.
Livia Soprano: My son, the mental patient.
Judge Greenspan: Mr. Soprano, do you have a problem with wearing an electronic bracelet?
Junior: It sounds like Nazi Germany to me.
Judge Greenspan: Obviously you need a history lesson, sir.
Bobby: (on Catherine) She seems all right.
Junior: What the hell would we talk about? Bunions? You know how I feel about feet.
Some people are so far behind in the race that they actually believe they're leading.
You heard about the Chinese godfather? He made them an offer they couldn't understand.
Junior: A Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor. After the exam the doctor said, "I know why you're having trouble." The Chinaman says, "why?" Doctor said, "you have a cataract." Chinaman says, "no, I have a Rincoln Continental." (short pause) You don't get it?
Bobby: I get it. He drives a Lincoln Continental. What?
Mikey Palmice: I think you should've taken care of this Christopher Moltisanti thing the minute it first happened. You should've sent a clear-cut signal. You fuck with Junior Soprano-
Junior: Take it easy. We're not making a western here.
My father told me to never get old. I should have listened to him.
It hurts like the fuckin' "Pit and the Pendulum" just to wipe myself.
I'm not a cat. I don't shit in a box.
You can't blame it all on the Justice Department.
