Better Off Ted

Veronica Palmer Quotes (Page 9)

Veronica: Ooh, flowers.
Ted: Look at you, having a girlie moment.
Veronica: Crap on a cracker!
Ted: And she's back.
 • Rating: Unrated

Veronica: Ted, you don't have to go through all this. Just say the word and the election's her's. We did for Iceland and we can do it for your kid
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: Veronica, quick question.
Veronica: What is it with everyone and their questions this morning? Where'd you learn to drive? Will you marry me? Why'd you say that to my baby?
 • Rating: Unrated

Veronica: I confiscated this a few months ago from Dewey the security guard. He had dozens of employee sex tapes like that.
Ted: Dewey? Damn. That's the first person I've ever met named Dewey I thought was normal.
Veronica: The quest continues
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: Don't you see what's happening? We are taking the only person here who has never compromised her ideals, and turning her into an ideal compromiser. And I don't mean an ideal compromiser, one who all the other compromisers look up to.
Veronica: I understand context, Ted.
Ted: She was our conscience. So now what are we gonna do?
Veronica: Gosh, you're right. How will we ever make the Fortune 500 list of the most moral companies? Oh wait, they don't have that
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Bhamba: This is all my fault. I knew there was a problem with the pasta sauce, but I did not notify my superiors because, well, I'm a drug addict. My goodness, how I love the drugs. I would take them in my house. I would take them with a mouse.
Veronica: With a mouse, people. Now that's rock bottom
 • Rating: Unrated

Veronica: We can't let the CEO take the blame, and you're the one who blabbed.
Linda: But I'm the only one who did the right thing.
Veronica: Well, you know what we call that? Irony
 • Rating: Unrated

Veronica: I like that hairstyle. It's very powerful. Would you mind if I wore my hair like that?
Linda: Of course not.
Veronica: Good. Then you can't anymore
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: With the public's trust at stake, we all gave depositions. Veronica had done it before and so knew just what to say... or how little to say.
Female Lawyer: Were you involved in the development of this product?
Veronica: Yes.
Female Lawyer: And how would you summarize the company's reaction when they found out that the women who used this product were savagely attacked by insects?
Veronica: Ouch.
Female Lawyer: Will you elaborate on that, please?
Veronica: No.
Female Lawyer: Can you describe your job?
Veronica: Yes.
Female Lawyer: How would you describe your job?
Veronica: Cleverly
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Veronica: So we're all gonna have to give depositions and say we didn't know this could happen.
Ted: But we didn't know it could happen.
Veronica: Good. That sounds very truthful.
Ted: Because we didn't know
Veronica: That one wasn't as good.
Ted: But we didn't.
Veronica: There you go. That's the one.
Ted: Veronica!
Veronica: I'd leave my name out of it
 • Rating: Unrated

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