Mondays 9:00 PM on CBS
Mike-and-molly

Peggy [pointing Molly out to male stripper]:There's the ringleader, and she's been a bad bad girl.
Joyce: I've been worse.
Victoria: I'm hiding drugs, and I don't have pockets.

Molly: Tonight'll be good. Just sitting around, sipping cocktails, having some girl talk.
Victoria: Yeah. But just keep in mind it's not too late to go out tonight and do something fun!

Molly: Did Mike call?
Victoria: No, but my pot dealer did. He said you can have your wedding in his basement grow room.
Molly: Oh good. Well, at least the lighting will be good!

Displaying all 3 quotes

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Mike & Molly Quotes

Molly: We've got the house all to ourselves. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Mike: Order pizza and make prank phone calls?
Molly: Yeah, baby!

I always go to Lethal Weapon. I'm Danny Glover and you're Mel Gibson with a thyroid problem.

Carl [to Mike]
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