Popular Walden Schmidt Quotes
Alan: This is serious; you will never amount to anything, if you sleep all day.
Walden: Morning.
Jake: I am sorry; I was just distracted by the naked billionaire that just woke up.
Now she won't return my calls, emails or texts. It is like she is ignoring across the whole digital spectrum. It is like she is Amish.
Walden: I am not dating your mom again.
Ava: I know that, she is in the shower with Peter.
Berta: You can just keep staring at your laptop all day.
Walden: I made a billion dollars doing this.
Berta: Well, carry on.
Walden: I am tired of dating crazy, cheating, greedy, gold-digging bitches.
Alan: Sigh, without them, I would not have gotten laid.
Walden: And there will be no reality TV stars.
Walden: She says wants to meet for coffee.
Alan: Oh, be careful. In my experience, when an ex wants to meet for coffee, it is either they want to borrow money or tell you that they gave you crabs.
Walden: You share too much.
Alan: This time, you invited the vampire into the house.
Walden: In my defense, the vampire was naked at the time.
Whitney: Wow, that is a lot of zeros. So are you really a genius and philanthropist?
Walden: Yes, I also fight crime.
Alan: Lyndsey has been pushing me to make a commitment because some other guy asked her out.
Walden: Who asked her out?
Alan: Her gynecologist.
Walden: At least he knows what he is getting into.
Alan: The only thing I got from the truck driver was a pack of cigarettes and an eyebrow pencil.
Walden: I gotta tell you, it is nice to be taken care of once for a change, but look who I am talking to.
Walden: I love you Berta.
Berta: You are one sentimental little taco.
If I were a struggling, broke-ass guy, what will my name be...? Keep in mind, Alan Harper is already taken.
