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The-simpsons

Homer: My life can't get any worse.
Smithers: Homer Simpson, report for "much worse" duty.
Homer: D'oh!

Here's something that should cheer you up, sir. (Smithers is wearing a bear suit) It's me sir, Bobo, hug me, squeeze me, tug at my fur!

Smithers: I have some sad news to report. A small puppy, not unlike Lassie, was just run over in the parking lot.
(Audience gasps)
Smithers: And now it's time for the comedy stylings of Homer Simpson!
Homer: Are you ready to laugh?
Man: That poor dog.

Joey Ramone: I'd just like to say this gig sucks.
Johnny Ramone: Hey, up yours Springfield. One, two, three, four!
Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday Burnsy.
The Ramones: Happy birthday to you!
C.J. Ramone: Go to Hell you old bastard.
Marky Ramone: Hey, I think they liked us!
Mr. Burns: Have the Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers: But sir, those aren't--
Mr. Burns: Do as I say!

Smithers: You want your bear Bobo, don't you?
Mr. Burns: Liar! I'll give you the thrashing of a lifetime...nggg...nyeeh. Resistance is futile!

Smithers: Sir, I've arranged for the people of Australia to join hands tonight and spell out your name with candles. There's a satellite hookup on that monitor if you turn your head slightly.
Mr. Burns: Bah, no time.

Mr. Burns: Smithers, I'm so happy. Something amazing has happened, I'm actually happy. Take a note! From now on, I'm only going to be good and kind to everyone.
Smithers: I'm sorry sir, I don't have a pencil.
Mr. Burns: Oh, don't worry, I'm sure I'll remember it.

Smithers: Who's...Bobo, sir?
Mr. Burns: Bobo? Duh..uh, I meant Lobo...Sherrif Lobo, they should have never canceled that show.

(During the nuclear meltdown, Mr. Burns has locked Smithers out of the escape pod)
Smithers: For the love of God, sir! There are two seats!
Mr. Burns: I like to put my feet up.

Mr. Burns: Oh, and one more thing: you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon.
Smithers Actually sir, we found the jade monkey. It was in your glove compartment.
Mr. Burns: And the road maps, and ice scraper?
Smithers: They were in there too, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent! It's all falling into place...

Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? New man?
Smithers: He thwarted your campaign for governor, you ran over his son, he saved the plant from meltdown, his wife painted you in the nude...
Mr. Burns: Doesn't ring a bell.

Mr. Burns: Hello my name is Mr. Snrub and I come from some place far away. Yes, that will do. Anyway I say we invest that money back in the nuclear plant.
Smithers: I like the way Snrub thinks!

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 76 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

"No one ever told me I mattered before."

Meg

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

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