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New-girl

Winston: That's like the president and the vice president not being best friends.
Nick: They're not best friends.
Winston: Come on, everybody knows they're best friends.

Nobody's getting pregnant tonight!...That's the same thing I say on my dates.

Winston: Nick could be your lawyer.
Schmidt: This Nick? Vivica A. Dropout?

Girl, I got an obligation...at a...sandwich...meeting.

Nick: Men don't talk to people they've dated, unless they want sex, or they're Winston.
Winston: I also want sex.

Winston: So...where do you do the marketing?
Schmidt: Oh, Winston. So naive, so sweet. We do the marketing EVERYWHERE!

I was the ninth guy off the bench for the eighth-best team in Latvia.

Have I ever made any decisions in my whole life? Are we just living in the mind of a giant?

Schmidt: Camping?
Winston: Like we're animals?!

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