New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl
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I'm worried about Schmidt, he's a Jew in the desert I don't want him to wander.

Winston: They call me Prank Sinatra!
Nick: No, you call you Prank Sinatra!

Winston: The phone?
Jess: I don't know...looks like a meth-head sandwich to me!

Prostitute: Aren't you a virgin, too?
Winston: Just my penis, baby. Just my penis.

Schmidt, I have to breathe because I am coaching you and also for regular life reasons.

Schmidt: I'm gonna have sex tonight. Are you two in?
Winston: Is that the way you wanted to say that?

He doesn't steal pies from windowsills! He is a real-life homeless person!

There's nothing like the feel of a fire, a fresh baked cookie and the sweet, sweet taste of crack in your lungs.

Somehow, I got on that woman's cycle of menstruation. And I got that menstruation inside of me!

That wasn't a cookie, damn it! That was a piece of his heart.

Ain't no way in hell I got a cat brothel going on in my room and I'm the only normal person in this loft.

Jess: You're too late. I'm in love. With Winston.
Winston: You know, it just got stuck up there so far, so quickly.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 52 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach