Winston: That's like the president and the vice president not being best friends.
Nick: They're not best friends.
Winston: Come on, everybody knows they're best friends.

• Permalink: Come on, everybody knows they're best friends.
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The only think I want in my mouth is Mr. and Mrs. Ibuprofen, minus the Mister.

• Permalink: The only think I want in my mouth is Mr. and Mrs. Ibuprofen, minus the Mister.
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I’m pretty sure they call her ‘The Fish’ because she’s tough, but fair, like a lot of fish I’ve met.

• Permalink: I’m pretty sure they call her ‘The Fish’ because she’s tough, but fair, like a lot of fish...
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I just want to be slapped around!

• Permalink: I just want to be slapped around!
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You got girl trouble, get a crystal!

• Permalink: You got girl trouble, get a crystal!
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I will say only one thing about that man that I've only said about Ryan Gosling...hot damn!

• Permalink: I will say only one thing about that man that I've only said about Ryan Gosling...hot damn!
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Winston: Live from New York, it's Coach's goodbye!
Jess: Show's over.
Winston: We ain't doing this?

• Permalink: We ain't doing this?
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If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?

• Permalink: If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?
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Who am I supposed to go to for lady advice now?

• Permalink: Who am I supposed to go to for lady advice now?
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We gonna make a girl cry today!

• Permalink: We gonna make a girl cry today!
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Nick: I'm trying my hardest to look poor.
Winston: You are poor.

• Permalink: You are poor.
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I may or may not have done an extensive amount of research on wedding dresses.

• Permalink: I may or may not have done an extensive amount of research on wedding dresses.
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