Winston: That's like the president and the vice president not being best friends.
Nick: They're not best friends.
Winston: Come on, everybody knows they're best friends.

The only think I want in my mouth is Mr. and Mrs. Ibuprofen, minus the Mister.

I’m pretty sure they call her ‘The Fish’ because she’s tough, but fair, like a lot of fish I’ve met.

I just want to be slapped around!

You got girl trouble, get a crystal!

I will say only one thing about that man that I've only said about Ryan damn!

Winston: Live from New York, it's Coach's goodbye!
Jess: Show's over.
Winston: We ain't doing this?

If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.


I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"