Winston: That's like the president and the vice president not being best friends.
Nick: They're not best friends.
Winston: Come on, everybody knows they're best friends.

The only think I want in my mouth is Mr. and Mrs. Ibuprofen, minus the Mister.

I’m pretty sure they call her ‘The Fish’ because she’s tough, but fair, like a lot of fish I’ve met.

I just want to be slapped around!

You got girl trouble, get a crystal!

I will say only one thing about that man that I've only said about Ryan Gosling...hot damn!

Winston: Live from New York, it's Coach's goodbye!
Jess: Show's over.
Winston: We ain't doing this?

If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?

Who am I supposed to go to for lady advice now?

We gonna make a girl cry today!

Nick: I'm trying my hardest to look poor.
Winston: You are poor.

I may or may not have done an extensive amount of research on wedding dresses.

New Girl Quotes

You know what they call Seattle in Portland? North Portland. Or Vancouver's shoe.

Jess

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick