Nick has a crush on a girl who is completely out of his league.

You know I helped the lady give birth in the kitchen?

The baby is perfectly fine, but lets just say I did not do a good job.

Oh yeah this woman just made my not sexual to do list.

I've been chasing you for miles like a murderer.

Me owe you? You ditched me when we were supposed to run away from school together. I built that raft for nothing.

I had dibs on her since the first grade dude.

Science aside man you're working those jeans.

I adore gas station television me, myself, personally. It is the intersection between information and gas.

As a cop do you think I would get anyone to do anything if I were being kind and supportive?

Actually the dance class has become more of a dance gathering.

It's too small to be a cat hotel and too big to be pants so it can't be mine.

New Girl Quotes

You know what they call Seattle in Portland? North Portland. Or Vancouver's shoe.


I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.