Winston: So...where do you do the marketing?
Schmidt: Oh, Winston. So naive, so sweet. We do the marketing EVERYWHERE!

I was the ninth guy off the bench for the eighth-best team in Latvia.

Have I ever made any decisions in my whole life? Are we just living in the mind of a giant?

Schmidt: Camping?
Winston: Like we're animals?!

Winston: Friends don't call friends pathetic.
Nick: But what do friends do when the other friend is taking a shower with a cat?

Nick, you know what a squirrel looks like. You've been outside.

The internet said I had to stay off my feet. But then I found this wheelchair in a ditch, so...I'm ready to work out!

Coach: Remember when you sat out of the game because you were sad?
Winston: I was also cold.

Winston: Schmidt, you can't move out! Who's gonna do my fades?!
Jess: Yeah, who's gonna do his fades?!

Ain't no way in hell I got a cat brothel going on in my room and I'm the only normal person in this loft.

He's gonna have to get...it rhymes with "flute-ered."

Hello, Pica? I need a table for five. This is author Toni Morrison.

New Girl Quotes

Schmidt: Are you in love with me? Because I'm in love with you, deeply. I assume that you would never because I messed this up so many times. You've made it very clear you only want to be friends with me and I value that friendship so much. So it I'm ruining it by doing any of this, please stop me.
Cece: Schmidt. I'm in love with you.

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick