New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl

The internet said I had to stay off my feet. But then I found this wheelchair in a ditch, so...I'm ready to work out!

Coach: Remember when you sat out of the game because you were sad?
Winston: I was also cold.

Winston: Schmidt, you can't move out! Who's gonna do my fades?!
Jess: Yeah, who's gonna do his fades?!

Ain't no way in hell I got a cat brothel going on in my room and I'm the only normal person in this loft.

He's gonna have to get...it rhymes with "flute-ered."

Hello, Pica? I need a table for five. This is author Toni Morrison.

Winston: An eye for an eye, Nick; a cat for a cat.
Nick: But what's the other cat?

I needed your underwear...to sew into my underwear.

I'm staying positive, but I'm pretty sure this is where we die.

I know you're lying, and I'm hurt, but I'm gonna eat this anyway

Prostitute: Aren't you a virgin, too?
Winston: Just my penis, baby. Just my penis.

Or we could break into a zoo, steal a bear, then we shoot the bear full of Hep C, we release that bear in the restaurant right as they're about to order dessert.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 50 in total

New Girl Quotes

It's a sexy place Jess, look at the CPR poster.

Coach

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick
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