Me owe you? You ditched me when we were supposed to run away from school together. I built that raft for nothing.

I've been chasing you for miles like a murderer.

Oh yeah this woman just made my not sexual to do list.

The baby is perfectly fine, but lets just say I did not do a good job.

You know I helped the lady give birth in the kitchen?

Nick has a crush on a girl who is completely out of his league.

I may or may not have done an extensive amount of research on wedding dresses.

Nick: I'm trying my hardest to look poor.
Winston: You are poor.

We gonna make a girl cry today!

Who am I supposed to go to for lady advice now?

If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?

Winston: Live from New York, it's Coach's goodbye!
Jess: Show's over.
Winston: We ain't doing this?

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Jess: I have to go out tonight, 'cause I'm feeling pretty twirly.
Schmidt: Twirly? Is that like horny?
Jess: I've got the dirty twirlies, Schmitdy!"