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New-girl

Coach: Remember when you sat out of the game because you were sad?
Winston: I was also cold.

Winston: Schmidt, you can't move out! Who's gonna do my fades?!
Jess: Yeah, who's gonna do his fades?!

Ain't no way in hell I got a cat brothel going on in my room and I'm the only normal person in this loft.

He's gonna have to get...it rhymes with "flute-ered."

Hello, Pica? I need a table for five. This is author Toni Morrison.

Winston: An eye for an eye, Nick; a cat for a cat.
Nick: But what's the other cat?

I needed your underwear...to sew into my underwear.

I'm staying positive, but I'm pretty sure this is where we die.

I know you're lying, and I'm hurt, but I'm gonna eat this anyway

Prostitute: Aren't you a virgin, too?
Winston: Just my penis, baby. Just my penis.

Or we could break into a zoo, steal a bear, then we shoot the bear full of Hep C, we release that bear in the restaurant right as they're about to order dessert.

He doesn't steal pies from windowsills! He is a real-life homeless person!

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 49 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach
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