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New-girl

Schmidt: Here are some things you want to hide about yourself on tonight's date--you're cheap, you're a heavy drinker, you're broke, you have a problem with anger.
Winston: Your car is horrible.

Winston: I'm gonna be strong for you, man. You know, I really did love Walt.
Nick: He was my dad, Winston.
Winston: Yeah, but he loved me more than he loved you. He told me that.
Nick: Yeah, he told me that too, actually.

Schmidt, I have to breathe because I am coaching you and also for regular life reasons.

I'll be back faster than you can say, "Damn, Winston, I took care of myself already."

Nick, we will talk about this in the morning. But, first, I'm gonna go do stuff with a girl

Schmidt: I'm gonna have sex tonight. Are you two in?
Winston: Is that the way you wanted to say that?

Winston: I wanted to talk to you about the regrettable contact between Cece's...her down there and my...parts.
Schmidt: You practically shish-kebabed her.

Winston: So that means you're gonna do whatever I say?
Schmidt: I mean as long as it's gangsta...or not. It doesn't have to be.

There's nothing like the feel of a fire, a fresh baked cookie and the sweet, sweet taste of crack in your lungs.

Jess: You're too late. I'm in love. With Winston.
Winston: You know, it just got stuck up there so far, so quickly.

Winston: The phone?
Jess: I don't know...looks like a meth-head sandwich to me!

Winston: There are parts of my butt that only a tub can clean.
Jess: Ew, but okay!

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 49 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick
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