Oh, there's somethin' you don't see every day. I'm definitely not comin' in.

And you never flip another man's burger. That's for starters.

Amber, you know, I was two years in Viet Nam. Do you know what I thought about, what I dreamt about? Coming home, having a family, having grandkids. I dreamt you, Amber. And Haddie, and Drew, and Sydney and Max. We almost lost ya Amber. You've had some bad breaks. You're not feeling good about yourself. You didn't get into Berkeley? Well boo friggin who. You got to suck it up girl, you're a Braverman. You got my blood in your veins. If you ever do something like this again, if you even think of doing something like this again, I will kick your little butt all the way from here to the Golden Gate Bridge. You do not have my permission to mess with my dreams. Are we clear?

Sarah: Hey, I didn't hear you come in.
Zeek: I caught you looking at porn, didn't I? That's okay, they did a study, ninety-eight percent of....
Sarah: Dad! I wasn't looking at porn.

Zeek: Who wears the pants in the family?
Crosby: What year do you think this is? The fifties? There's no one wearing the pants, or not wearing the pants...it's a partnership.
Zeek: Oh my God, that sounds dreadful.

I keep walking into different rooms in my house and finding people drinking. Should I be taking it personally?

A man has a certain relationship with his Thanksgiving day bird.

I went to your little Portuguese pound cake, and told him to stay away from what's mine!

Adam: So what do you do, talk...share?
Zeek: The only thing I am doing is dancing with gay Tony. You gotta see this guy move Adam. He's like a finely tuned European sports car. Very sensitive and responds to the lightest touch. Honestly, it's amazing.

(to his dance partner, Tony) I want you to know that I'm okay with the gays.

Hey Millie, I would love to dance with you.

Joel: What am I going to do; I'm going to show them how to use fabric softener properly?
Zeek: Joel, I mean really. These kids are kindergartners, you could light your own fart and they would think you were Einstein. Come on!

Parenthood Quotes

Mom, I'm on my feet I'm not destitute. I've just got a little financial trouble and two degenerate kids, but I'll be fine.

Sarah

Max: Isn't the game today?
Adam: Well buddy I thought you were done with baseball.
Max: It's my team.
Adam: Games in 10 minutes everybody.

Parenthood Music

  Song Artist
On My Way Back Home Band of Horses iTunes
Song Smile Evil Twins
Well Runs Dry Peter Case iTunes