Ziva David Quotes
Ziva: DiNozzo, pull it together.
Tony: Kids. This is way above my pay grade. I spent the afternoon in a child care clinic when I almost lost my life.
Ziva: Stop stop stop stop. We're doing the director a favor, okay? We just need to be here, we need to be normal. Can you just please do that for a few hours?
Tony: Sure. Fine.
Tony: Only because you asked nicely.
- Permalink: DiNozzo, pull it together. Kids. This is way above my pay gra...
Ziva: All warehouses are the same.
Tony: Up there with old houses, churches and prisons. Gives me the willies.
Ziva: Is that the thing where people lick their fingers and them they put it in someone's ear?
Tony: That's a wet willy.
- Permalink: All warehouses are the same. Up there with old houses, churche...
Tony: It's weird doing this stuff without her [Abby] isn't it? It's like going to a puppet show, except all the puppets are just laying there on the stage. These dead puppets. Sorry.
Ziva: Why are you sorry?
Tony: It's ...
Ziva: My father dies and all of a sudden you cannot talk to me about dead puppets. I'm fine, Tony.
- Permalink: It's weird doing this stuff without her isn't it? It's like go...
Tony: Tell me. What can I do? What do you need?
- Permalink: Tell me. What can I do? What do you need? Revenge.
Ziva David: Never sweat where you eat.
Tim McGee: Wrong bodily function.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah but it's the right idea.
- Permalink: Never sweat where you eat. Wrong bodily function. Yeah but i...
Eli David: Ziva, I do not walk straight lines. Ask your Agent Gibbs would say, this is not my first radio.
Ziva David: Rodeo.
- Permalink: Ziva, I do not walk straight lines. Ask your Agent Gibbs would ...
Tony DiNozzo: Shabbat dinner?
Ziva David: It is Friday night. But I have no idea what or who you're talking about.
Tony DiNozzo: Just tell him Agent Meatball says "hi".
- Permalink: Shabbat dinner? It is Friday night. But I have no idea what o...
One gets over a watch. You never get over a loved one.
- Permalink: One gets over a watch. You never get over a loved one.
I appreciate that, Tony, but don't try to compete with my Schmeil.
- Permalink: I appreciate that, Tony, but don't try to compete with my Schmei...
McGee: Not a hacker, either.
Ziva: How do you know?
McGee: My firewall hasn't been penetrated.
Tony: Lubricant helps, but everybody has dry spots.
- Permalink: Not a hacker, either. How do you know? My firewall hasn't be...
(After McGee has opened a parcel containing a blow up doll)
McGee: Erm...real funny, Tony.
Tony: (Laughs) You think I did this?
Ziva: I would not put it past you.
Tony: Guys! Come on, a little credit, please. I have grown past this kinda sophomore thing. I mean, who would do something so...genius! McGee with a plastic girlfriend! Congratulations, Tim! She's very sweet.
McGee: The receipt's got my credit card information on it. It must be some kind of mistake.
Ziva: I would cancel your credit card.
McGee: Right now, all I need to do is figure out how to deflate this thing.
Tony: Oh that's easy, there's always a button right here on the back of the neck...
(Tony realises what he has just said)...there's no reason I should know that.
- Permalink: Erm...real funny, Tony. You think I did this? I would not p...
Ziva: I did not know you were a pool dolphin, Tony.
Tony: Pool shark. And yes, I was.
- Permalink: I did not know you were a pool dolphin, Tony. Pool shark. And ...
McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.
- Permalink: Abby's highly-specific rules for dating
McGee: You know something I don't? Working tonight and tomorrow night?
Tony: No, Tim. It's just that Zoe's parents are in town and they want to have dinner. I'm not ready for that.
Abby: So you deceived her.
Tony: I was put on the spot. I was not prepared.
McGee: Whoa. Hey. What are you afraid of?
Tony: I don't know.
Abby: They're probably really nice.
Tony: I'm sure they are. I've just never had dinner with the parents of a woman I'm seriously involved with.
McGee: That's not true. What about Jon Benois?
Tony: No, technically that wasn't me because I was undercover as Tony DiNardo, professor of film studies. I wasn't myself back then. Meeting the parents for dinner could trigger a whole chain of events.
Abby: It's just dinner, Tony.
Tony: You have dinner yet with Ranger Burt's parents? I didn't think so. Then put down the gavel, take off the robe and stop judging, both of you.
- Permalink: Tony doesn't want to meet Zoe's parents.