NCIS

Tuesdays 8:00 PM on CBS
Ncis
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Ziva: Apologize.
Tony: What for?
Ziva: For being you.
Tony: Sweetheart, if I had a dollar for every time I did that, I'd be loaded.

Ziva: We hit a shamu.
Susan: Did she mean a snafu?

Tony: Davy Jones. Used to sing with The Monkees.
Ziva: Real monkeys?"
Tony: I envy your brain sometimes.

Ziva: What do you think Corporal Vega was doing at an empty warehouse?
Tony: I don't know. Why don't you pick the lock and find out?
Ziva: We do not have a warrant.
Tony: This building is foreclosed, which means it's owned by the bank, and since the people own the banks I think technically that means we own the building.
Ziva: Wow.

Ziva: What is that?
Tony: It's a Geiger counter. You can't be too careful.

McGee: I was there, too, near the car, you know.
Ziva: We all were.
McGee: But don't let that stop you from thinking about yourself.
Tony: This isn't about me! It's about my little DiNozzo makers! They've been nuked!
McGee: I know!
Tony: Do you?!

McGee: Hey, in Paris, who got stuck with the couch?
Tony: Me. We flipped a coin.
McGee: Tough break.
Ziva: Why did you just lie to McGee?
Tony: Why did you lie to Nora?

Nora: You are so direct. So honest. So different from him.
Ziva: Tony and I have different approaches.
Nora: You're complimentary. You're sure you two never -
Ziva: No. Positive. Definitely no. Why do you keep on asking about Tony and I?
Nora: You're like me and Daniel. A good fit. Besides, Paris is a romantic city and you two shared a room, so I -
Ziva: I took the couch. Otherwise Tony would have whined the entire flight about his back.

Neeley: You have reason to believe they're on board?
Ziva: Stationary target. Closed quarters.
Neeley: A modern day Orient Express.
Ziva: The killer would just need an inconspicuous weapon.
Neeley: Like what? Listen, I've been doing this for a long while and I doubt that there's anything -
Ziva: Headphone cables make for a perfect garrote, and plastic silverware is not as safe as you might think. I once killed a man using a credit card.

Ziva: A team of Homeland Security officers will be waiting for us when we land. Outside the terminal an NCIS detail will take over.
Marshall Neeley: Not taking any chances in case your new hitman tries something on the ground, huh?
Ziva: Which is why we must consider the possibility they may try something on the plane, where Nora is more vulnerable.

Tony: All right, Annie Leibowitz, what's wrong with my pictures?
Nora: Well, they're sort of soulless. Analytical. They look like postcards or -
Ziva: Crime scene photos.

Ziva: Why do I have to study all this and you don't?!
Gibbs: I was born here.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 129 in total

NCIS Quotes

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.