Leonard: Come on, guys, push!
Howard: If I push any harder I'm gonna give birth to my colon.
Raj: I can't feel my fingers. Hurry up!
Sheldon: It's the same amount of work no matter how fast you go—basic physics.
Raj: Sheldon, if my fingers ever work again, I've got a job for the middle one


Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (2 Votes)
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Characters:
Leonard Hofstadter, Sheldon Cooper, Howard Wolowitz, Rajesh "Raj" Koothrappali
Episode:
The Big Bang Theory Season 1 Episode 14: "The Nerdvana Annihilation"
Show:
The Big Bang Theory
Related Quotes:
Leonard Hofstadter Quotes, Sheldon Cooper Quotes, Howard Wolowitz Quotes, Rajesh "Raj" Koothrappali Quotes, The Big Bang Theory Season 1 Episode 14 Quotes, TBBT Quotes
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The Big Bang Theory Season 1 Episode 14 Quotes

Sheldon: Why'd you set it for the day before yesterday?
Leonard: Because I want to go back and keep myself from getting a time machine.
Sheldon: You can't. If you were to prevent yourself from buying it in the past, you would not have it available in the present - travel back and stop yourself from buying it, ergo you would still have it. This is a classic rookie time travel mistake.
Leonard: Can I go back and prevent you from explaining that to me?
Sheldon: Same paradox—if you were to travel back in time and, say, knock me unconscious, you would not then have the conversation that irritated you, motivating you to go back and knock me unconscious.
Leonard: What if I knocked you unconscious right now?

Raj: Too bad, I called dibs.
Wolowitz: You can't just call dibs.
Raj: I can, and I did. Look up "dibs" in Wikipedia.
Sheldon: Dibs does not apply in a bidding war