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Two-and-a-half-men

Alan: Do you have any idea how long it would take me to earn that kind of money?
Charlie: Oh don't think like that. You're never going to earn that kind of money.

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Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 5 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 5 Quotes

That 60 Minutes report on Dr. Shankman was entirely one-sided, just like that poor woman's vagina.

Evelyn

Evelyn: When this heals, I'll have the face of a twelve year old girl.
Charlie: But from the neck down you'll have an the body of an Egyptian mummy.

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