Red Cross woman: Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of one hundred beats per minute.
Michael: Ohhhkay that's, uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?
Jim: How's that going to help you?
Michael: I'll divide and then count to it.
Jim: Right.


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Characters:
Michael Scott, Jim Halpert
Episode:
The Office Season 5 Episode 13: "Stress Relief"
Show:
The Office
Related Quotes:
Michael Scott Quotes, Jim Halpert Quotes, The Office Season 5 Episode 13 Quotes, The Office Quotes
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The Office Season 5 Episode 13 Quotes

Michael: Jim: You're 6-11 and weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Dwight, you're a kiss ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, you're teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela ... where's Angela? Whoa, there you are, I didn't see you there behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted. Oscar, you are... [Stanley laughs] Oscar, you're gay.

Stanley you will not die! Stanley! Stanley, Barack is president! You are BLACK, Stanley!

Michael