Selma: For some reason she doesn't trust him, maybe it's the bang up job he did raising you.
Homer: He was a great Dad! Every year he got so mad when Santa didn't bring me presents!

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The Simpsons Season 18 Episode 15 Quotes

Abe: My roof, my rules!
Homer: Oh, why did I borrow that roof from him?

Accountant: You throw over one thousand dollars a month into local wishing wells.
Homer: Yeah, you idiot, 'cause I'm wishing for more money!