God these high school students are lame. I'm a freaking baby, an...
Stewie: (after watching One Tree Hill) God these high school students are lame. I'm a freaking baby, and I'm cooler than they are.
Brian: What the hell do you know about high school?
Stewie: Are you kidding? These kids today are so easy to manipulate. If you plopped me in the middle of a high school, I could be the most popular kid there in a week.
Brian: Really, would you care to place a wager on that?
Stewie: Absolutely, what are the stakes?
Brian: Okay, if I win, and you can't do it, you have to put your nose in Meg's hat and take an eight second inhale.
Stewie: Okay, it's a bet.
Stewie: Kiss on it?
(after the the judge rules in favor of McBurgertown industries)
Peter: What!? Hey c'mon, that's not fair!
Judge: Well Mr. Griffin, what did you expect? They have a hundred lawyers. And you tried to bribe me with a subsription to Grape Soda Today, which I already have!
- Permalink: What!? Hey c'mon, that's not fair! Well Mr. Griffin, what did ...
Peter: Black mail call!
Lois: Peter, you were supposed to collect Cleveland's mail, not go through it.
Peter: Lois, black people aren't like you and I, and I find that hilarious!
- Permalink: Black mail call! Peter, you were supposed to collect Cleveland...