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Linda: God, you'd be hard to go out with.
Ted: Hey, I am fantastic to go out with. I'm... I'm thoughtful as a man can be, while still pillaging like a Viking in the bedroom. But I am not getting involved in Veronica's personal life.
Linda: So my boss gets to have all the sex-fun of a relationship, while all the stress of being exhausted trickles down to me? Man, capitalism blows.


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Better Off Ted Season 2 Episode 4 Quotes

This weekend, Mordor and I am going scuba diving. Last weekend we raced cars in the desert and ate a rattlesnake... and a goat that wandered into our camp, and then a light salad.

Veronica

It turns out developing cheese that never spoils is harder than we thought. Right now, it's more of a cheddar-colored fabric that does spoil.

Ted