Hey, are you alright? No, I'm not. What's going on? One&md...
Alan: Hey, are you alright?
Charlie: No, I'm not.
Alan: What's going on?
Charlie: Alan, I have always conducted my sex life according to three simple principles: One—if at all possible, ladies first; Two—it is easier to be forgiven than ask permission; and third and most important—the ten seconds it takes to put on a condom beats the hell out of the ten years you have to pretend to like soccer.
- Charlie Harper, Alan Harper
- Two and a Half Men Season 6 Episode 1: "Taterhead Is Our Love Child"
- Two and a Half Men
- Related Quotes:
- Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 6 Episode 1 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
- Added by:
- Eric Hochberger
(talking about condoms)
Russel: Whenever you're dealing with a manufactured product, there's always gonna be flaws in the process.
Charlie: Yeah, but aren't they supposed to be tested before they go out, or in?
Russel: Well, sure, but they don't test every one.
Charlie: They don't?
Russel: Masturbating's looking better and better, huh?
- Permalink: Whenever you're dealing with a manufactured product, there's alw...
Alan: Being a father is one of the greatest joys there is.
Jake: Hey, Dad, where's the plunger?
Alan: Uh, laundry room.
Jake: Thanks. I over-wiped.
Alan: No such thing, my son. (to Charlie) Where was I?
Charlie: The joys of fatherhood.
Alan: Right. (Charlie gives him a look) What? There was a time when he didn't wipe at all!
- Permalink: Being a father is one of the greatest joys there is. Hey, Dad,...