Tom: Hey Charlie, when we drove in I noticed a tavern down the road. What do you say we go have a drink and get to know each other a little better?
Charlie: Sure, I guess, but if you're on the fence about me right now, I don't think alcohol is going to improve my chances.

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Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 13 Quotes

Alan: Okay let me see if I got this straight: in order to not spend time with your fiance's parents, you're going to let a doctor snake a camera up your kiester?
Charlie: I'd be willing to let them shoot an IMAX feature.

Charlie: I'm out of baby wipes.
Chelsea: I bought you two boxes of baby wipes.
Charlie: What can I tell you, babies don't crap like this. At least not healthy babies.