Peter: Hey Horace, how about you take that weiner out of your hand and give me a beer?
Horace: Don't talk to me that way, you son of a bitch!

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Family Guy Season 11 Episode 18 Quotes

For those of you who turned out to see my stand-up comedy debut at Zany's last night, I again apologize for what I said about Moroccans.

Tom Tucker

Lois: Peter, what happened to your voice? It's so deep!
Peter: I think I'm sick.
Lois: Well, you don't sound like yourself. In fact, you sound kinda hot!
Peter: I just threw up two chicken gyros out the side of my nose, they're on your side of the bed.
Lois: Ohhhh...say that again!