Lisa: Chief, my brother fell in the storm drain!
Chief Wiggum: I'm strictly an above the ground policeman, what you need is the sewer cops.
Lisa: Fine, what's the number?
Chief Wiggum: Lisa, you're old enough now that I can tell you the truth. There's no such thing as sewer cops. It's just something we tell the kids to feel safe.
Lisa: What about Bart?
Chief Wiggum: Well if you miss him, you can yell into a toilet.