Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Dr. Freeman: How's work?
Charlie: It's been pretty slow. Thankfully the house is paid off, the pension is funded, and I've give up prostitutes. Really all I need is drinking money... what's that, a couple grand a month?
Dr. Freeman: Sounds about right


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Charlie Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 1 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 1 Quotes

Alan: You plan on kicking me out when mom dies?
Charlie: You plan on being here when mom dies?

Jake [about his sister]: So far she eats, she poops and she sleeps. I'm not impressed
Berta: Give her a bad hair cut and she'd be you
Jake: Excuse you, I paid $9 for this haircut
Berta: Sorry