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Two-and-a-half-men

Charlie: I don't know how to tell you this, but your bangs are dripping down your face.
Alan: Little lesson for you. There's two things you never wanted to buy on the cheap: canned hair and condoms.
Charlie: I'm assuming it never got to condoms.
Alan: No, it did not. Once my hair started dripping on her chicken marsala the evening was pretty well shot.


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Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 9 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 9 Quotes

You usually grab my ass like you're holding a tree trunk in a hurricane. This time it was more like you were palming a couple cantaloupe at the supermarket.

Charlie

Berta: I thought you were taking your girlfriend out for dinner.
Jake: I am, but I thought if I eat first I won't pig out in the restaurant and make her sick.
Berta: Good idea, then you'll have the whole rest of the night to make her sick.
Jake: Exactly. Plus, I won't snap at her if she reaches for one of my fries.

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