Schmidt: I don't know what is allowed in the cold-hearted Republic of Nick Miller, but I do know how I feel. And I know how much you love cookies. And I saw it there behind the glass and thought, "Nick Miller. I'm gonna buy that, man."
Nick: If I could give you that cookie back, I would. Nothing would make me happier than to throw it up, mash it into cookie shape, and shove it down your throat.
Schmidt: You want to mama-bird me the cookie?
Nick: That's not what I-
Schmidt: You want to mama-bird me the cookie. You're not mama-birdin' anybody anything!