I have been Michael's number two guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We're like one of those classic famous teams. He's like Mozart and I'm like... Mozart's friend. No. I'm like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like... Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart, you're gonna get a bullet in the head courtesy of Butch Cassidy.

Dwight

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Dwight Schrute Quotes, The Office Season 2 Episode 3 Quotes, The Office Quotes
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The Office Season 2 Episode 3 Quotes

I'm an early bird and a night owl. So I'm wise and I have worms.

Michael

A 30-year mortgage at Michael's age essentially means that he's buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so I couldn't hear the other dead people.

Dwight