Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Tammy: I have failed as a parent.

Walden: It is not that bad..
Tammy: Somehow, my daughter has narrowed her choices to a 19-year old who needs to ask the Wizard for the brain and a sleazy car salesman who barely missed a Dateline special.

Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Season 10 Episode 20 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 10 Episode 20 Quotes

Alan: What a nice surprise to have you home for the weekend.
Jake: It is good to be back.

Walden: I hope you guys know that this is not your home.

Jake: Hey, she hit me with the wall of respect.

Tammy: And you slept with my daughter.

Jake: So we will call it even?