South Park

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Merry F(beep)king Christmas song:
MR. GARRISON: I heard there is no Christmas,
In the silly Middle East.
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus,
They have different religious beliefs.
They believe in Muhammad,
And not in our holiday,
And so every December,
I go to the Middle East and say,
"Hey there Mr. Muslim,
Merry f(beep)king Christmas,
Put down that book the Koran,
And hear some holiday wishes.
In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's birthday.
So get off your heathen Muslim ass,
and f(beep)king celebrate."
There is no holiday season in India I've heard,
They don't hang up their stockings,
And that is just absurd!
They've never read a Christmas story.
They don't know what Rudolph is about,
And that is why in December,
I'll go to India and shout,
"Hey there Mr. Hinduist,
Merry f(beep)king Christmas,
Drink eggnog and eat some beef
And pass it to the missus.
In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's birthday.
So get off your heathen Hindu ass,
and f(beep)king celebrate!"
Now I heard that in Japan,
Everyone just lives in sin,
They pray to several gods,
And put needles in their skin.
On December 25th,
All they do is eat a cake.
And that is why I go to Japan,
And walk around and say,
"Hey there Mr. Shintoist,
Merry f(beep)king Christmas,
God is going to kick your ass,
You infidelic pagan scum.
In case you haven't noticed,
There's festive things to do,
So lets all rejoice for Jesus,
And Merry f(beep)king Christmas to you."
On Christmas day I travel `round the world and say,
"Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists, and all you atheists too,
Merry F(beep)king Christmas, To You!"
(Clapping)
Thank you, Mr. Hat.


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Mr. Garrison Quotes, South Park Season 3 Episode 15 Quotes, South Park Quotes
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South Park Season 3 Episode 15 Quotes

The Dreidel Song:
KYLE: Ok, Ike, you're my little brother, so I have to teach you how to celebrate Hannukah. This is called a dreidel, and you spin it around and sing this song: I have a little dreidel, I made it out of clay, and when it's dry and ready, with dreidel I shall play. Oh, dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, dreidel dreidel dreidel, with dreidel I shall play.
CARTMAN: Hey, what the hell are you doing?
KYLE: Oh, hey Cartman! We're playing dreidel, you wanna try?
CARTMAN: Sure! (Singing:) Here's a little dreidel, that's small and made of clay, but I'm not gonna play with it 'cuz dreidel's freaking gay!
KYLE: Hey! Shut your mouth fatass!
CARTMAN: Jews......play stupid games......Jews.....that's why they're lame!
KYLE: Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, dreidel dreidel dreidel, with dreidel I shall play.
STAN: Hey, whatcha doing? Oh, that Hannukah thing.
CARTMAN: It's SO amazing, you spin this little thing on the ground and it goes 'round and 'round, I could watch it all day.
STAN: Here, let me try (singing:) I'll try to make it spin, it fell, I'll try again.
(Stan repeats and Kyle starts singing at the same time as Stan's repeat.)
KYLE: Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, dreidel dreidel dreidel, with dreidel I shall play.
(Now Cartman starts singing with them)
CARTMAN: Jews.........play stupid games......Jews..........that's why they're lame!
SHEILA: Hello, boys.
KYLE: Hi, mom!
SHEILA: Oh, you're all playing dreidel, how precious. You know, dreidel's a time-honored tradition to the Hebrew culture.
CARTMAN: Yes, we know Ms. Broflovski, it's so very interesting.
KYLE's MOM: (singing:) Now when you learn to make the dreidel spin, you know our people always win, keep spinning. (She repeats, Cartman starts again)
CARTMAN: Jews.......play stupid games.......Jews.......that's why they're lame!
KYLE: Oh, hi dad!
GERALD: Hello everybody, say, can I join in?
KYLE: Sure! (singing:) I have a little dreidel, that's small and made of clay, and when it's dry and ready with dreidel I shall- everybody!
(The next part is all sang at the same time)
KYLE: Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, dreidel dreidel dreidel, with dreidel I shall play.
STAN: I'll try to make it spin, it fell, ill try again.
SHEILA: Now when you learn to make the dreidel spin, you know our people always win keep spinning.
CARTMAN: Jews......play stupid games........Jews that's why they're lame!
GERALD: Courtney Cox, I love you, you're so hot on that show.
(Everyone stops singing except Kyle's Dad)
GERALD: Courtney Cox, I love you, you're so hot on that show.
KYLE: Dad, we're singing about a dreidel.
GERALD: Oh.....sorry
SHEILA: We'll talk about this later Gerald!
(The next part is all sang at the same time)
STAN: I'll try to make it spin, it fell, I'll try again.
SHEILA: Now when you learn to make the dreidel spin, you know our people always win keep spinning.
CARTMAN: Jews......play stupid games........Jews that's why they're lame!
GERALD: Courtney Cox, I love you, you're so hot on that show.
KYLE: Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, dreidel dreidel dreidel...
EVERYONE: ...with dreidel I shall play!!!!!

Shelly is starting to get pissed, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day. Shelly got up and killed the turds on Christmas day in the morning!

Shelly (<i>singing</i>)