Bart: I need you to help me get a passing grade.
Martin: Well, you do need someone's help to get a passing grade, but I don't know why that someone should be me.
Bart: Because I can make it so the other kids don't laugh at you so much.
Martin: They...laugh at me? I'd always considered myself rather popular.
Bart: You're not. Watch.
(Bart grunts as he pushes Martin to the ground and nearby kids laugh.)
Martin: But my--my speed with numbers, my years of service as a hall monitor, my prize-winning dioramas--these things mean nothing to them?
Bart: Perhaps another demonstration.
(Again Bart grunts as he pushes Martin to the ground and nearby kids laugh.)


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The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 1 Quotes

(Bart listens to Mrs. Krabappel lecture him about his failing grades.)
Mrs. Krabappel: Your grades have gotten steadily worse since the beginning of the term. Are you aware of that?
Bart: Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. Krabappel: Are you aware that there is a major exam tomorrow on colonial America?
Bart: Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. Krabappel: Blah, blah, blah-blah. Blah, blah, blah?
Bart: Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. Krabappel: Blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah.
Bart: Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. Krabappel: Bart! You haven't been paying attention to a word I said, have you?
Bart: Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. Krabappel: Well, then what did I say?
Bart: Uhhh, "Straighten up and fly right?"
Mrs. Krabappel: (Blows raspberry) That was a lucky guess.

Who would have thought that pushing a boy into the girls' lavatory could be such a thrill? The screams! The humiliation! The fact that it wasn't me! I've never felt so alive.

Martin