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I'd storm out right now if my love for funeral food wasn't greater than my hatred for two selfish jerks.

Max

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Max Blum Quotes, Happy Endings Season 3 Episode 8 Quotes, Happy Endings Quotes
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Happy Endings Season 3 Episode 8 Quotes

I don't know why I'm surprised, I once saw you put sunscreen on a grape because you didn't want it to become a raisin.

Jane

Hey guys! You all remember my super racist parrot Tyler.

Alex