Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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If there was a freeloader's Hall of Fame, my dad will be living in it... for free.

Jake

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Jake Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 10 Episode 18 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 10 Episode 18 Quotes

Berta: By the way, in case I forget, I may be a little late on Monday.
Walden: No problem, when should I expect you?
Berta: Wednesday.

Alan: You know what the problem is? Walden does not appreciate anything I bring to the party.
Lyndsey: I have never seen you bring anything to a party, except a Ziploc bag to steal the shrimp.