(Reading from booklet) If you have sex, your penis will fall off and land in another dimension populated entirely by dogs, who will eat it. (pauses) Well that's something I'd like to avoid.

Peter

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Peter Griffin Quotes, Family Guy Season 5 Episode 6 Quotes, Family Guy Quotes
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Family Guy Season 5 Episode 6 Quotes

Lois: Look Meg, A, Ear sex is just unnatural, and B, how do I say this, vaginal intercourse is...it..its just tops! It's the bee's knees Meg. Oh, when your rattle it around just right, oh my god! I mean, you remember when we had that old car with the bad shocks, and I used to take the old dirt road on purpose! Meg! Meg?
(pans to see Brian in the doorway)
Brian: I love you.

(Smells the pile) Aaaah.... (Jumps into the pile) F**K YEAH!

</i> Tooth Fairy