I'm a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food. But this stock photo I bought at a framing store isn't real. Today I got the real thing. A naked Tammy made me breakfast this morning. I should have taken a picture of it.

Ron

Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (8 Votes)
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Ron Swanson Quotes, Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 8 Quotes, Parks & Rec Quotes
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Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 8 Quotes

Leslie: April, stop that. Who are you texting?
April: You.
Leslie: Aww, she's texting me... I'm sorry you're bored.

Old Gus: Well I've been listening to your boring speeches for the last 50 years. And now it's time for you to listen to one of mine. You know a day like this makes a man reflect upon his life. And I've come to the conclusion that I've completely wasted mine. And just for the record, I never ever liked being called "Old Gus." I didn't understand it when I was in my 20s and I sure hate it now. So go to hell every single one of ya. Screw Pawnee, and screw your damn shoes!
Andy [laughing]: Oh, Gus. That's classic.