Chief Wiggum: I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Cops don't have a lot of friends. Civilians are afraid of us and other cops just remind of us things we want to forget. That's why your friendship is so special to me.
Homer: Chief, me too.
Snake: Umm, you know I've been back here for like ten hours. Any chance of a bathroom break?
Chief Wiggum: Thanks a lot jail bird. Now I have you on burglary and killing a moment.


Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (2 Votes)
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Characters:
Homer Simpson, Chief Wiggum, Snake Jailbird
Episode:
The Simpsons Season 21 Episode 18: "Chief of Hearts"
Show:
The Simpsons
Related Quotes:
Homer Simpson Quotes, Chief Wiggum Quotes, Snake Jailbird Quotes, The Simpsons Season 21 Episode 18 Quotes, The Simpsons Quotes
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The Simpsons Season 21 Episode 18 Quotes

Homer: Community service? But that's work! What about jail?
Judge: Community service!
Homer: No, I want to go to jail. Free food, tear drop tattoos, library books that come to you. I'll serve anything but the community!

Bart: I don't even remember if Dylan is a boy or girl.
Marge: Of course, you do. Dylan is a ... let me check the invitation, fish theme, that tells me nothing!