Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Jake: I'm in a committed relationship.
Charlie: What are you talking about? You're 13.
Jake: I'm 15.
Charlie: Well who cares, you're too young for a committed relationship. I'm 40 and I'm barely ready.
Jake: You're 42.
Charlie: What is it with you an numbers?


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Charlie Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 Quotes

Alan [about Marty]: Mom, are you and he...
Evelyn: Good Lord, no. The man is a thousand years old. It's a wonder his scrotum doesn't get tangled up in the wheels.

Charlie: Speaking of generosity, check out what I got Chelsea.
Alan: Diamond earrings, nice.
Charlie: Yeah, she dropped a couple hints about stuff she wanted, but I wasn't really listening, so I bought her these.