The Simpsons

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The simpsons
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It's been another 8 years, and what do I have? Same job, same house, same dirty joke book (He reads) Ha ha ha, I just thought for once I could be the cool guy in your movie, but all I am is the guy who makes everyone else look good.

Homer

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Homer Simpson Quotes, The Simpsons Season 18 Episode 13 Quotes, The Simpsons Quotes
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The Simpsons Season 18 Episode 13 Quotes

Homer: Oh! This is Eduardo. He's the pool boy. He thinks he's an angry old rich man.
Mr. Burns: I am an angry old rich man!
Homer: (whispers) That's the pool chemicals talking.

Declan Desmond: (to Homer and Marge) Are you two considering children?
Homer: Pfft. Kids? No way. You won't see a couple of rugrats tying me down.
(Cut to eight years later, Homer and Marge with baby Bart and Lisa)
Homer: You better not put this shot after the one where I said I won't have kids. That would be a devastating edit.