Peter: Lois, I'm packing for Kissstock and I can't find my favorite underwear!
Lois: You mean the one with the hole in the left butt cheek from you tore them pulling them up in the airplane bathroom when you had the trots?
Peter: No, the one with the hole in the right butt cheek from when I held it in during the extra-long sunday service mass because I thought blowing gas would offend Jesus, and I let it go in the vestibule, and it sounded like Louis Armstrong?
Lois: Oh. Middle drawer!

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Peter Griffin Quotes, Lois Griffin Quotes, Family Guy Season 3 Episode 20 Quotes, Family Guy Quotes
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Family Guy Season 3 Episode 20 Quotes

Cardinal: Pope! Time to get up and put your hat.
Pope: It's a stupid hat.
Cardinal: Pope!
Pope: Okay, okay. God!
[Goes into the bathroom, comes out, and drops his boxer shorts on the floor]
Cardinal: Pope, the floor is not a hamper.
Pope: Man!

Meg: I can't believe my stupid parents are gonna spend five days following stupid old KISS around! It's painful!
Peter: Not half as painful as a tire iron upside your head.
Meg: What?
Peter: I'll miss you!