Mayor, the geologist is here to see you. My geologist? Now? Te...
Assistant Johnson: Mayor, the geologist is here to see you.
Mayor McDaniels: My geologist? Now? Tell him that the infection is fine and that I don't need another check up.
Johnson: No, mayor, that's a gynecologist. A geologist studies the Earth.
Mayor McDaniels: Don't you think I know that? How dare you insult my intellect! I went to Princeton for God's sake! You get out of my office!
Johnson: I'm not in your office, mayor. I'm talking to you through a speaker.
Mayor McDaniels: Just send in the geometrist!
Mayor McDaniels: You are fired, buddy!
Johnson: Thank you, mayor. It's been great working for you.
Kyle: Dude I don't understand hunting at all.
Stan: Yeah, it's stupid, let's go watch cartoons.
Cartman: Ya! Cartoons kick ass.
- Permalink: Dude I don't understand hunting at all. Yeah, it's stupid, let...
Cartman: Hey, you guys. I know a scary story.
Kyle: Shut up, Cartman. You can't scare anybody.
Cartman: Oh, yeah? Have you guys ever heard of (slyly) Scuzzlebutt?
Cartman: Scuzzlebutt is a creature that lives up this very mountain and kills anybody who dares climb at the top.
Cartman: Because it loves the taste of blood and likes to add pieces to its deformed body.
Kyle: Deformed like how?
Cartman: Well... On his left arm, instead of a hand, he has...
Stan: A hook?
Kyle: A knife!
Cartman: No. A piece of celery...
Cartman: Yes. And he walks with a limp, because one of his legs is missing. And where his leg should be, there's nothing but...Patrick Duffy.
Kyle: Patrick Duffy?! Damn it, Cartman! That's not scary!
Cartman: What do you mean? Haven't you ever seen "Step by Step"?? (continues) Anyway, he lives alone on his mountain and weaves baskets and other assorted crafts. They say that on quiet nights, you can hear him weaving his baskets... (imitates weaving sounds)
Stan: Cartman, you suck at telling scary stories!
Kyle: Yeah! Give me that flashlight!
- Permalink: Hey, you guys. I know a scary story. Shut up, Cartman. You can...