Alan: Morning, Berta. Need some help?
Berta: Yeah, come to my house and explain to my daughter that we don't put up bail for cute guys with Costa Rican passports


Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (2 Votes)
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Characters:
Alan Harper, Berta
Episode:
Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14: "I Can't Afford Hyenas"
Show:
Two and a Half Men
Related Quotes:
Alan Harper Quotes, Berta Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 Quotes

Charlie: Great, why don't I just shoot myself?
Alan: Can't afford a gun

Alan: Charlie, call me an old-fashioned dad, but I was hoping my son wouldn't start betting on sports until he's old enough to have a drinking problem.
Charlie: He didn't really make a bet. I just gave him a taste of my action.
Alan: Nor do I want him tasting your action.
Jake: Dad, without action there's no juice.
Alan: All of a sudden, he's Frank Sinatra