Michael: Okay, oh okay, okay. Close your eyes.
Jim: I would prefer not to.
Michael: Just close your eyes. I'm going to start my own paper company.
Jim: You're starting your own paper company?
Michael: yeah!
Jim: Why?
Michael: Can you believe... cause I know paper. I know everything there is to know about paper.
Jim: Do you know the industry is in decline?
Michael: Yeah! Oh God. I practically invented decline.

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Michael Scott Quotes, Jim Halpert Quotes, The Office Season 5 Episode 21 Quotes, The Office Quotes
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The Office Season 5 Episode 21 Quotes

Kevin: Michael is that scotch?
Michael: Scotch with Splenda. Tastes like Splenda, gets drunk like scotch. Clinky, clinky-clink. Come-on... come on, come on.

He finally has a story everyone wants to hear... and he knows it.