Allison: You said no more bodies.
Ivan: I reconsidered.

I say, let's be professionals, you and I, make it to the very top, the summit of the world.


Carrie: Do you think he's bluffing?
Allison: He's a laywer. It's a negotiation.

Allison: Welcome to Operation Iraqqi Freedom.
Carrie: That bad, huh?
Allison: Worse.

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So let's just file that one under ongoing disasters, shall we?


Awwww gross! Come out of an egg next time!


Terry: IT says the internet is down.
Gina: What?! Nooooooooo! I just clicked a link that said "Balloon Boy grew up hot." Now I will never see those pictures!
Rosa: Can't you just use the internet on your phone?
Gina: Bitch you know I'm out of data!

Terry: Also keep Captain Holt away from her.
Jake: Really? Why?
Terry: He's always weird around her and it stresses her out. She says he reminds her of those judgemental trees from Lord of The Rings.
Jake: (scoffs) They're called Ents, get a life, dweeb.

Sharon: A doula is someone who supports you emotionally and physically, and coaches you through the process.
Jake: Oh I see, so sort of like a vaginal Gandalf.

It's good you're changing. Just don't change too much.


I was just glad to watch the two-faced bitch get served.


You know when you meet someone and you just don't click? That's how I feel about you.

The Knife