Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 3 Quotes

Berta: What's this broad got that's so special?
Charlie: A brain.
Berta: What are you going to do with a brain?
Charlie: It doesn't matter, she'll never call me.
Berta: Awww! Don't talk like that. Just because she's smart and successful doesn't mean she's not damaged enough to go out with you.

• Permalink: What's this broad got that's so special? A brain. What are y...
• Added: December 28, 2009

Linda: Please, tell me you did not get yourself arrested just so you can see me?
Charlie: Ummm! You got me.
Linda: Charlie, what am I going to do with you?
Charlie: Have dinner with me? Otherwise, we're looking at a crime spree here.
Linda: Alright, one dinner. Now, step back.
Charlie: (whispering) Yes, ma'am.
Linda: How do you plead?
Charlie: Guilty, your Honor.
Linda: Is this your first offense?
Charlie: Yes, your Honor.
Linda: Alright, $500.
Charlie: $500? Last time....
Linda: "Last time?"
Charlie: Thank you, your Honor.

• Permalink: Please, tell me you did not get yourself arrested just so you ca...
• Added: December 28, 2009