Max, I can’t believe it. I screwed me and the horse I rode in on.

Max

Caroline: You sleep in your bra?
Max: I have to. Last time I let them out at night they didn’t come home until 4am and couldn’t tell me where they’d been.

My gambling problem got so bad I couldn’t even afford my drug problem.

Earl

You have a coccyx? Want to go out sometime?

Max

All this money and I didn’t do anything. I’m one mustache away from being a Kardashian.

Max

Caroline: Sophie, it’s nice to see you so giddy about something.
Max: Yeah, you’re like me sitting on that broken washer at the laundry mat.

He dropped me off first because he’s a class act, and because he had to put his pants back on.

Sophie

I hear that phone has a great camera for selfies, or in your case elfies.

Max

Caroline: Next up, I have gas.
Max: Ah, thanks for the heads up this time.

2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 23 Quotes

I hear that phone has a great camera for selfies, or in your case elfies.

Max

Caroline: Next up, I have gas.
Max: Ah, thanks for the heads up this time.